Best of Craigslist: Twinkie Trade; $2,000 for Dude’s Hair

The following items and postings were found on Craigslist for the DuPage County area. Note: Patch has no control over the status of these posts on Craigslist and how long they remain available.

Twinkie Trade

A Willowbrook/Hinsdale seller has apparently been hoarding a box of Hostess Twinkies since the company’s 2012 bankrupcy, and wants to trade them for “anything you may have to offer.” Of course, Twinkies are scheduled to be back on shelves in July (a company called Apollo bought the rights,) so I personally wouldn’t recommend paying more than a couple of bucks. (I’m thinking this sale may be the result of a snack-cake investment gone bust...)

$2,000 for Dude's Hair

It’s easy to forget that hair is actually quite a pricey commodity. This Woodridge man, who I assume is Marc, is planning on hacking off those long blond locks and scoring a major profit in the meantime. (He looks rather angry about the prospect; perhaps this is a Fantine-esque demand of the poor economy?) Marc says his hair is straight, blonde with light highlights, thin, straight and “easy to deal with.” It’s yours for $2,000 “or best offer.”

Spidey Statue

We can never resist running live-sized statues and their ilk in Best of Craigslist, and this time, we have Limited Edition Life-Size Spider-Man out of Wheaton. He’s not in great shape and needs some restoration, but perhaps he can be repurposed as a burglary deterrent? (Catches thieves, just like flies!) He can be your roommate for $150.

1878 Rifle

Wikipedia tells me that the .577/450 Martini-Henry black-powder cartridge was used by the British empire during the Anglo-Zulu War, and this 1878 Francotte rifle that uses said cartridge is from the right timeframe to have been used in that particular conquest. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t; how it made its way to Wheaton I don’t know. But it’s there, and it can be your very own tool of imperialism for $385.

Selling the Card Racks

A Hallmark store is closing in Lemont, and everything must go--yes, everything, including the physical card racks. What you do with them (sell cards?) is entirely up to you, but according to the listing for $200, they come with “free plastic dividers” and a “secret storage compartment found below!” Exciting! Now you too can go bankrupt trying to sell greeting cards?

A Most Excellent Unicycle

This item is being advertised as a “Most Excellent Unicycle,” which sounds like the British clown remake of Ladri di biciclette. It’s a standard 18-inch wheel, which may or may not be large enough for your average bear to ride. Or perhaps you can ride it and impress all the friends you don’t have anymore because you spent all your time learning to ride a unicycle. It’’s $75 out of Westmont/Downers Grove.